Co-Sleeping

Co-sleeping can be a polarizing topic! Not only are people unaware of the full definition of co-sleeping, they’re also unaware of the background information.

To be honest with you, there is conflicting evidence for both sides of the argument. Either way, parents just want the best for their kids and I want to say right off the bat that I will ALWAYS advocate for parents doing what is best for their child and their family. Just making sure you understand the risks involved with bedsharing.

That being said, you will never hear me say “don’t co-sleep!” You will also never hear me promote co-sleeping without mentioning safe sleep habits. (Safe sleep is a whole other topic that I’ve got a blog post on!). 

When I put together a personalized sleep plan for you and your child, I take into account your parenting style and what I think might work best. However if I propose something that you think doesn’t fit well, I am 110% willing to talk more and see how we can tweak the plan to fit you better.

Now co-sleeping is actually an umbrella term. It encompasses bed sharing (where the child is in the parents bed) and also where the child sleeps in the same room as your baby. There is nothing wrong with choosing any of the options, as long as it works for your family and your child is safe while they sleep.

Here are a few points I wanted to discuss in a little more detail:

So when people think of co-sleeping they think of bed sharing so understanding the difference is important. Bed sharing, having the child in the room with you, and the child having their own separate room, all these options have their pros and cons and we will go through them here! 

When it comes to “sleep coaching” some people think either type of co-sleeping inhibits your child’s ability to self-sooth. The reality is, if you are currently co-sleeping and eventually plan on having your child sleep in their own bed in their own room… making that transition may take longer than if they were a solitary sleeper. So being realistic and working gradually is your best bet if you are making that transition soon. If your child sleeps by themselves right from the get-go then that transition into a different bed will be a little easier. 

Bed sharing can make things easier for moms, and has been shown to facilitate breastfeeding, however it also has been identified as a risk factor for SIDS. Some parents bed-share with a large pillow that is raised so that the child can’t roll, and is slightly separated from the parents’ bodies. This is a great way to be a bit more safe when having the child in the bed with you! But again if you are going to be nervous about it, don’t put any pressure on yourself or your babe.

Another reason parents co-sleep is because they want to make sure they build a strong attachment with their child. I am here to tell you that you CAN have a strong attachment with or without co-sleeping! Yes, co-sleeping gives you a good opportunity to be close with your child, however there are other ways you can build that bond with your babe.

Two of the main reasons parents have their child in their own room from the start is because  parents A) want their own space B) think it will help their child be more independent. Now again, always do what fits your family the best! So one of the more popular questions that I come across is “Will I get a better sleep if I don’t co-sleep?” The answer is maybe!

…If you have your baby in the other room, and you are constantly worried and are more comfortable with them in your room/bed then you will get a better sleep that way. However, if you are very nervous about sleeping in the same bed as your child and you feel that they are better off in their own space then you will sleep better with them out of the bed/room. So really look inward and be honest with yourself and your parenting style and go with that. It has been shown though, that parents who bed-share do have a lighter sleep and arouse more often through the night.

When it comes to the independence aspect, the more experience your child has to put themselves to sleep the better. However, they feed off of your energy and your feelings so if you are nervous and worried while putting them to bed (whether that’s alone or in your bed) .. it will inhibit them from having a good rest.

So no matter what option you choose to do with your child, make sure you are fully comfortable with it and aren’t feeling pressure from anywhere. If you have any questions or need some support either way, I am here for you! This is a non-judgemental place for you to share any concerns you might be having and get some appropriate advice/support from someone who just wants to see your family healthy and happy :)

All the best,

-Marina